#1 Reason for successful, long lasting relationships

http://relationshiplaboratory.com/1-reason-for-successful-long-lasting-relationships/


By Relationshiplab • Sep 17th, 2008 • Category: For Couples
There are many factors which contribute to a good, long-lasting
relationship: love, communication, trust, common interests, shared
faith. These are undoubtedly all significant contributors to a
healthy, successful relationship. However, I have seen plenty of
relationships full of love and common interests to spare sadly fail in
the end, no matter how much love or commonality there was. What then
is the most important determinant in successful relationships?

The most important factor by far is common goals. Not common interests
or values, but common GOALS. That’s not to say that love,
communication, trust or all those other good things are not important.
They are. It’s just that in order for a relationship to even exist in
the first place, both partners need to want the same things in life.
Put it this way- a relationship is like a business. Both lovers are
equal partners in the business. If one partner thinks he’s running a
hardware business, while the partner wants to run a software business,
you have no business. Both partners could be not communicating well or
not particularly getting along from time to time, but if they are both
committed to the same business, then the business will chug along, no
matter how dysfunctionally. Once again, though, both partners have to
be in the business for the same reasons in order for it to exist, let
alone be profitable.

So it is with relationships.

If one partner wants to start a family while the other doesn’t, you
don’t really have a recipe for staying together. If one partner wants
to go and travel the world for a year, but the other one wants to stay
in the area, chances are things are doomed. This might seem like a
no-brainer, but it is shocking to see how many people are in
relationships and they want completely different things in life. This
is why it’s important to find out exactly what your prospective
partner wants in life before getting too committed. You need to make
sure that you both want the same things in life before you get too
serious.

Love waxes and wanes; sometimes it grows weaker after a few years, but
then is rekindled. It is dynamic, not static. Same with communication
and interests. These things are in constant flux and change. However,
if both partners are on the same page and working toward common goals,
difficult and rough patches where love and communication start to
break down can be weathered. As an analogy, if both partners are
steering the ship in the same direction, that ship can get through the
stormiest seas.

Remember, for a successful, long lasting relationship, make sure to
find a lover who wants the same things in life as you. That way you
can build a strong foundation to get through the lean times as well as
the good times.